between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
God, you're like boner-b-gone
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
