I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Enjoy the penises
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
