In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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