tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
