it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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