I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
