i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
