He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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