What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
