I didn't shave. On purpose
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She just used a chaser for red wine.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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