If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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