She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
