Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize