He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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