she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
