one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once