Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
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That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.