Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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