At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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