I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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