She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
