a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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