Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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