; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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