Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
