I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
