I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
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Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize