It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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