Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
