The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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