she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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