just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Non-Jews are for practice
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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