Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.