Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.