Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first