Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
