did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
