Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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