dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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