Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
