Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
