Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
