If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
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You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
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An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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