dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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