if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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