and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
