I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
love makes seman taste better
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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