Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will be naked everywhere
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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