To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
