the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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