You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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