WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
