I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
