Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
