If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
