if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Apparently you make a good broom.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize