A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
