You don't have asthma, your pregnant
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Randomize
