I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
