Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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