the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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