He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
