PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
