no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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