I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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