I love black thongs
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I FOUND THE LEGS
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
