Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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