Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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